Where do I belong?
An immigrant’s dilemma.
Based on a true story.
With a head full of dreams and a heart brimming with excitement, we set off from our motherland, leaving behind all that we hold dear and familiar, towards a future we believe would be bright.
However, after landing here, I was offered the ‘reality’ shades.
I started to see things how an immigrant should.
What was once a colourful dream completely turned grey.
The rose-tinted view was shattered, and clouds of disappointment ascended over me.
That’s when I realised: happiness can mutate into disappointment in no time.
I scolded myself, feeling foolish.
Did I really think I could have it all?
A happy family, a great career and every desire?
“Well, here, you are an immigrant.
Your name is hard to pronounce.
You speak with a funny accent.
You look different from us. Your skin colour is repelling.
Why don’t you go back to your country?
Oh, you want a job in your field? That’s funny you think that.
Did you think you could have high-paying jobs?
Did you forget you are an immigrant?
You might be a surgeon back home, but here you are, just an immigrant. So, run along and find a survival job that will give you ‘our country’ experience. The tale of starting from scratch is much revered here,” they say.
What have I done?
Uprooted the perfect life that we had back home!
A job that paid well, a house to call my own, and people who love and accept me as I am.
Why am I so good at wrecking things?
Sometimes, I question if I find pleasure in complicating matters for myself and, now, for my husband as well.
Standing at crossroads, I wonder where I truly belong — my homeland I left behind or this new, foreign land that refuses to accept me as I am.
With everything falling apart, I can only sit and listen to the static that fills my mind.
It all feels impossible.
The struggle is undeniably real!
